Defeated

Frankly saying, I am in my most worst defeated phase and it happened when I am at most far from my family and friends makes it even more unbearable. Defeated in my religion, abilities, socials, appearances and studies. My body seems to agree quite along with my feeling. It really does shine through my actions and expressions. I am always not equipped enough to face all the problems I'm bounded to. One word, Weak. And I wonder too, have I always been this weak? It really does make me reflect the experiences I've gone through with having the end result of exact feelings. It was never good, it made me resorted into depression and anxieties. I don't hate the life I've been given to, No. I am beyond blessed. But I hate the state I am in- for not being good enough to encounter these problems when I've been blessed just enough to get by. MashaAllah.

Whenever I feel scared, I need to remind myself that these are the formulations set aback by Allah swt for my path. If I am not afraid or nervous and disappointed of the past/present/future meaning I don't trust Him enough. It all depends on my trust towards Allah swt. InshaAllah

May Allah swt strengthen my heart and not make me astray when in time I need Him the most. May this path be the best path I'll ever experienced in my life and never make me doubts my choices of venturing into Medicine. Amin.

"O Allah, I've been very unjust to myself no one grants pardon against sin but You, therefore forgive me with your forgiveness and have mercy on me. Surely, You are the forgiver, the Merciful" Amin.  

<3

Trials

People tend to forget that trials/challenges are beautiful manifestation of His love towards us. But then who to blame, when it's in our nature to forget. The way we get reminded is by the trials we face. Big or even small and insignificant to others, it is how we respond to the trials we face. It is already stated in Al- Quran that the people who go through trials with such grace of patient is the most beneficial of all throughout everything they went through. When we are faced with such calamity, it's our nature to feel burdened, pain, sorrow, heartache. And you can't understand God's love till you learn to appreciate pain. With pain comes a sense of wanting to depend Upon. That's where you need the One and Only. Leave it to Him and trust his plans.

"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient" 155: 2 Al-Baqara

"Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return"" 156: 2 Al-Baqara

"Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the righly guided" 157: 2 Al-Baqara

May we all get benefits from the trials we face. In God's will.

Of Golden Fall

Fast paced time. I can't believe it's been a year over since I left this writing space. Fall has long left me with cozy Winter to say hello. Too occupied during Fall that I didn't have time to properly go out and take abundant good golden pictures. But all is well. It's Unity Day in Russia and I finally have some time off my medicine books. Schedule's been busy but I am not, I've been procastinating all the time. To the point I don't think my routine is healthy anymore. Falling sick more often, energy drained is rather typical. But I still prefer to be here than anywhere else, at least for now. I might start writing again. Till then, 

"And the worldly life is not but amusement and diversion; but the home of the Hereafter is best for those who fear Allah, so will you not reason?" 32:6 Al-An'am

Ticking

Assalamualaikum,


July has welcome a very warm Ramadhan in Malaysia. Alhamdulillah it's the 10th day of fasting. I've finals in 2 weeks, talk about nerve-wrecking feeling. Just need to score well in finals just like mid-sem, alhamdulillah mid-sem results were very unexpected since I did last minute studies. Aha but nevertheless alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. More topics needed to be covered and yes no more last minute studies cos' with these results I will actually know which class I'm getting in my overseas Uni. Can't wait to start shopping for winter clothes all. The date I'm flying away is getting closer than ever, can't say I won't miss anything behind in this warmed-lovely country, Malaysia. As for now, I'm more than excited to look forward to the new stuffs I'm going to venture in there, in God's will.

Storyline

Just bought myself a new blood red diary for 2014 at my favourite bookstore but-only-go-there-once-a-year kind of bookstore. Oh ya people yes I practically started my 2014 a month late than you people. I'm in delusional hahah but I'm having fun so that's pretty much what counts ayee. The thought of me having a diary gushed to me when I know that my life has been a mess in the financial way or even just my schedule throughout the week. And starting with a diary to help me being upkeep from now onwards is a hella good idea for now. Let's hope I use the diary to the fullest use (fingers crossed!!). Cos ya know I have some bad memories with the previous ones I own (I never even cross the 10th page of writing in it without totally being bored with it). Well, people say it could possibly takes 30 days to form a habit (at least a good one!). Let's make this year more memorable than it already is, and hello to the new adventures ahead. Aye Aye captain! 

A Win

These are some of my all time well-known worldwide famous favourite singers, no doubt any songs coming out from them would be my everyday jam. Rock' on!

Honestly, I think having a great voice is such a win. Cos' first of all, you dont see people go into surgeries to get their voice box fixed in their deep throats. Oh yeah of course you can do botox and more plastic surgeries to get your face pretty-well-fixed. You can wear braces to make your ugly teeth looks good. Put extensions to hair. Contacts lenses to make your eyeballs pop out. And whatnot. Music business is also one of the most fast growing industry nowadays. But no, not that i meant having a great voice can instantly magically make you worldwide famous. No. But then you've that extra feature that nothing can ever be done to other people to own it like you. So that's definitely a big humongous win for you if you have a great voice. I would want to marry a husband who has a great voice, am i kidding. He can totally make a morning lullaby for me in the morning so that I dont have to wake up feeling very groggy. Hahah what a dilemma.

Baby steps

Assalamualaikum,

Hey there,

Well, I guess there is a first for everything. It has been awhile since I wanted to put up a blog but I was rather lazy. Now,since I'm already over with my most crucial examination, spm. And I thought to myself, hey, since I love writing so much why not a blog..and here it is! Here's a welcoming pose for yah haha